At Office Monster, we like to play a little game called Desk Psychology 101. We reckon most employees fit into one of the following categories, so the question is what kind of office desks do your workmates drive?

Master of the Tech Universe

If there’s an app for it, you’ve downloaded it. If it can be optimised, you’ve optimised it. You’d like your desktop to look like an Apple shop – unfortunately, it looks more like PC World. Smartphone, phablet, iPad, laptop, yes even a desktop, are all present and correct. You use all the right buzzwords and your PowerPoints look amazing, but we know you’re secretly swiping right and playing the latest Angry Birds instalment.

The Pack Rat

We imagine that the Pack Rat’s house might look a bit like one of those people who have to make tunnels round their living room, because the Pack Rat never gets rid of anything. The office desks of Pack Rats overflow with piles of junk – from printed out and long deleted emails, to every receipt that’s ever come their way and even coffee cups gently curating mould cultures that Pfizer might be interested in. We’re not sure what the Pack Rat does inside their paper fortress but we wonder if their desk should be condemned as a fire hazard.

The Happy Camper

Framed photos, calendars with everybody in the office’s birthday colour coded and stickered, kid’s art and cute tchotchkes – these are the hallmarks of the Happy Camper’s desk. It’s neat and tidy and colourful, thanks to all the knick knacks and art work. The Happy Camper never forgets a birthday, in fact, they never forget anything at all. So watch out, behind the cat videos lurks a cunning enemy when crossed.

The Zen Minimalist

This is the carefully curated desk of someone who keeps their office needs to the bare minimum. Nothing is allowed to disturb the fine balance of the nearly empty zen-like desktop, including their own presence. So minimalist is their approach, they’re virtually never there – maybe they’re pioneering ‘virtual employee’ chic? If you have workmates who drive minimalist office desks, are they still actually at work? Who knows…


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